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between classes

I have about 35 minutes before my next class so I decided to make a ittle post.

The roommate search is going very well so far, but I'm sure it'll get better. I also got a few replies form people wishing me luck which makes me even more optimistic ^^

I just went and talked to a woman from the public health department and she gave me alot of useful information. I also have an appointment set up with the head of the department so that I can ask her all of my questions.

Hmm...what else? I'm really sleepy. Like EXTREMELY sleepy and I'm about to go to my most boring class ever. HISTORY. I hate that class and I'm probably going to fall asleep then I have to go to work for four hours *sigh* I can't wait until eight o'clock so that I can take a nice hot shower and relax.

I SERIOUSLY have to work on my Japanese. There's no way that I'm going to get any better if I don't get a little conversation practice. It's like you can give me a bunch of questions and I can answer them on paper just fine, but if you ask me a question and tell me to say the answer, I get nervous and second guess myself -__- I need more practice, but unfortunately I never found anyone willing to skype chat with me on a regular basis. Once in a while I'll bump into someone on sharedtalk, but most of the time I'm not on at like three in the morning [five pm Japan time] to talk to any native speakers. I can't even talk to Dani chan as often as I used to TT_TT

Man, am I sleepy. I think I'm going to go get a hot chocolate with a shot of caramel from Starbucks.
Farewell, everyone...

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What the heck does that mean??? O_o

roommate ad

I did a search for all the different communities that have the words new jersey, new york, or japan in it and I've decided that I'm going to cross post a roommate ad. I'm actually going to post it here first so that you guys can give me your input on what I should change or maybe even add. I would really appreciate the help ^__^
Okay, here goes:


Hello! I'm Tamara [or Tammy...whichever you prefer] and I am desperately in search of a roommate. How bout I give you a little info?

Me: For starters I'm 20 and I'm a Nutrition major at a university in New Jersey. I'm a very liberal and very much in love with Japanese culture. I don't currently have any form of religious background. I guess you could say I'm free spirited and a borderline hippie. My sole motivation in life is to live as long and as happily as I can....[and to drink bubble tea! Lot's and lot's of mango bubble tea :D]

What am I looking for?

You should be...female, kind-hearted, honest, gay-friendly, responsible, reliable, willing to communicate, tidy, japanophile and quirky/goofy/nerdy...or a combination of the three. I would also prefer a fellow college student, but I [obviously] don't discriminate.

I'm looking for someone that is willing to share a STUDIO apartment [trying to keep the cost down!] that is about 20 minutes away from William Paterson University in Wayne, New Jersey and it would be decorated Japanese style which means we get to use futon ^^ I don't really know exactly how it would be decorated, but that's because it should be a team effort rather than an image in my head. I really want to find someone that wants to be friends not JUST roommates. Someone that would say "Hey!  Let's save as much money as we can and go on a road trip next month!" I would be all for it :D Someone that knows how to have RESPONSIBLE fun. Someone that realizes that life is too short for us to not make the best out of it.

Here's the best thing about my roommate search...I don't plan on doing this until next summer. That's right! Summer 2010 which gives us plenty of time to get to know each other and find a great place that we could really make our own.

So do you fit this rather unique description? I hope so cause everyone I know lives light years away TT_TT 
Message me if you're interested ^^


Well? What do you guys think?


roomie search

You know what I really want to do? I want to meet someone that would get a studio apartment with me. It would have to be someone that's way into Japan so that we could decorate the apartment Japanese style. We could use futon and cook Japanese food. It would be great ^_^ It would also help me save some money, too. I plan on having a car by this time next year and I plan on going to Japan for at least two weeks next summer. Finding an ideal roommate would be awesome cause then I could move out of the dorms and into an apartment where I would pay about $3000 dollars for six months in an apartment instead of $10,000 staying in a dorm. I don't really know how I would go about doing it though. I don't know anyone that falls under that category. They would have to be responsible, reliable, and tidy. I would also prefer to start hanging out with them AT LEAST a few months before we move in together. Myabe she could even come to Japan with me [assuming that I get to go]. We would also have to live no more than 20 minutes away from my school so that I'm not communiting from a million miles away.

I dunno. This would definitely be a challenge, but I guess I should start looking. Unfortunately, I don't know where.



I plan on buying a car by this time next year and I bumped into some really good sights and some info that should come in handy so I figured I should post them here. I just have to try and remember that I posted the entry heh ^_^''



Liability is required.

If this is your first car, yes, you'll have to buy auto insurance before you drive your shiny new car off the dealer's lot. If you are financing the purchase, the lender may require that you buy a policy with comprehensive and collision coverages. Not all states require the purchase of liability coverage.



She's so adorable >_

It's been a while since I managed to develop a crush on a straight girl. I tried to deny it at first but it's so obvious. Nick even calls her my "wife" lol
When i was at work today she came up to me and asked me a few questions about applying for housing next year. I just realized that I won't see her very often next semester cause she's going to live in a different building *pout*
She's short and I'm pretty sure that she doesn't have the slightest clue of what my name is, but I know her name because the other day a really nice man came into the building while i was talking on the phone and he overheard me talking about the most depressing yet amazing movie called "The Green Mile" and how it made me cry and he told me that he saw it, too, and that it was really good. He then told me that he was waiting for his daughter [we'll call her "M"] to come downstairs because she was coming home for the weekend and i kindly told him that I know the residents by face, but not by name. I did let him go upstairs to get her though and next thing I know she's walking out of the elevator with him and he goes "This is my daughter 'M'" and she looks at me and says sarcastically "oh, we don't know each other!" and she shakes my hand and laughs and then they left.
She has the cutest freckles in the world! >_<

I decided to write about her cause I just had a dream during my unintentional nap] that I was an RA and I just held a meeting and she looked like she wasn't in a good mood [which would be really weird because she always has that amazing smile on her face] so at the end of the meeting I was just trying to make conversation and somehow we ended up going back to her room. It was a single room and it was really dull but it had a bed, a dressing table, a nightstand, and a tv stand and a little one seater couch. It was pretty cool. i wish the dorms were really like that. So I don't really remember what we were talking about but I do remember commenting on how cool the room was and after a while she was sitting on the bed and I went to kneel next to the bed and we were both watching something on the tv then she turns to me and gives me a random hug and I'm just like..."where'd that come from?" and she gives me a cute smile and hugs me again. I got up and sat next to her on the bed [cause the hug was like really lopped sided since I was sitting lower than she was] and then we started hugging again and the hug eventualy turned into a nice little kiss...then a knock on the door [boo!]. Apparently there were DAs outisde her door looking for me because they wanted to know where they could get cleaning rags. [??wtf??? O__O]

So yeah...really weird/desirable dream *smiles*

lesbian love ^^

So I have been avoiding my wonderful little journal lately and I feel awful about it but I just don't want to jinx the fact that things are going so well for me right now. The reason that I decided to post today is because I work at a residence hall on my campus called "High Mountain East" and there is a girl that goes to West Milford High School that always comes here to visit her girlfriend. She's super cute and I was totally shocked when I realized she was a lesbian. Anywho, she just came in today with a little build a bear Hello Kitty that she told me she named Achilles because the entire time that the woman was stuffing it, she was holding it by the ankle. How cute is that? So yeah i just felt like I needed to say that.

Like I said before, things have been going really well right now, but I am waiting for "something" before I post. Hopefully if things go well I'll have good news to tell. I've also been thinking about tatoos. I know that I only want one pride tatoo and MAYBE [HUGE MAYBE] another one. I'm thinking a rainbow star bracelet as opposed to the rainbow butterfly tramp stamp that I always said that I wanted. I'm thinking that it'll probably look something like the one that Alice has around her arm but I want it to be brighter. I dunno...we shall see. I can't get it for another 3 [or so] years anyway -__-

I guess that's all for now <3

new computer!!!

I'm sooo happy right now ^___^ I have so much to catch up on. I feel like I abandoned everyone and I doubt that any of my skype friends remember me *sigh* this sucks, but yeah. I downloaded aim, skype, utorrent, limewire...what am i missing? I've been trying to update everything. THe bad news is that I'm at home so my time is very limited. The real fun starts when I go back to school on Sunday. I was ready to go as soon as I got here lol
I have a few things to talk about so expect an update on Monday. BYES ^_^

I miss my computer TT_TT

So...what's going on with me lately. Hmmm...well for starters I'm in  relatively good mood today despite the fact that my sociology professor failed me and I had to email him and to make a long story short he said that he would fix my grade on Monday, but today is now Tuesday and the grade is still the same which means that I can't go get my HS transcripts sent out today as planned which pushes back the application process. *sigh* I'm so annoyed.

Also, my laptop is stil not fixed. My dad gave it to his friend and what did his friend say? He thinks it's the motherboard. What did I tell my dad two weeks ago? It's the motherboard. So now I'm going to have to go back to school without a computer even though I could have sold it and used the money that I got back to buy a new one by now but of course, my parents never listen to a single thing that i say. This means no L word, no Niptuck, no Supernatural, no anime, no movies, and limited LJ time until further notice.

I'm dying to go back to school.

I think that I'm slowly going out of my mind. I just really need to get these applications through and hope for the best. If I don't get into any of them then...I don't want to think about what happens then...*sigh*

Wish me luck <3


Suddenly, I feel so lost and afraid.
A ball is rolling up in my throat and my eyes are glossing over.
I feel so alone.
I'm gonna cry.
I just know I'm gonna cry.

Ugh -__-

So I don't have much time to write because I'm on my home computer. My laptop is dead. the stupid piece of shit decided to die a week after the warranty was up. So more bad news. I got a C+ in Biology and there's no way in hell that I'm going to get into the nursing major and I honestly don't know what to do. I failed math...again. I suck. I got the job that I was trying to get [swiping the ID cards] but I'm afraid that they're going to put me on academic probation for failing math for the second time so I might not be able to keep the job which means that I'll have to cut off my new t-mobile cellphone [that my parents don't know about] and I won't be able to get my car, but the worst part is that fact that I don't know where my life is going now. I can't get into the nursing major and my parents won't let me go to an institute. The only other option is to find another college and my parents are going to NUTS about that and it's going to be a huge argument that might lead to them telling me to find my own way to pay for school. I also don't have the money to pay for a bunch of application fees. I was thinking that I could find a cheap room to rent and get a roommate which would make it even cheaper but I really can't because all of the institutes that offer LPN are in North Jersey where the public transportation sucks so I would need to buy a car which would be around $2000 [at the very least] and then I would have to pay car insurance whic would be about $170 and I would have to pay my cellphone bill which is about $69 plus I would have to pay rent would would be NO LESS than another $200 then I would also have to pay a monthly payment of at least $200 each month PER loan that I've taken out and Bank of America hasn't sent me any statements that have a minimum payment of less than $250. SO I definitelt don't have the money to move out and do it on my own, and by the way, that was ASSUMING that Sallie Mae would let me take out a $22,000 loan to go to the institute and ALSO ASSUMING that I get accepted to one of the institutes to beging with.

So..what am I supposed to do? I'm currently $44,000+ in debt and I'm not on my way to any career and I have parents that aren't willing to compromise. What the fuck am I supposed to do? My life really sucks right now. 

I'm so lost...